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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Another warm day rolling in humidity. My fingers stuck lazily to the keyboard. My body stuck lazily to this chair. I didn’t want to pack. Not again. The constant change around battles with my fixedness. Strain. Each day longer than before. Fighting too much. Brushing the sweat gingerly from my forehead. I've woken now Clenching my teeth, I had to push past these hours. To find myself I’m leaving my childhood here. I’ll never return to this house. Oh memories. Oh life. Its all collapses to a collection of cardboard and tape. I’m caught. Frozen. In the shadows of all I have created I can’t even get lost enough to cry. It will come later. Will it? A year of change. Gazing out, its dark. My senses tell me the moon is slightly faster in her change than I had predicted. Two more days. I'm longing to be lost in you So tired of this battle. Tired of me. I need to be whole. Won't you take me away from me? Closer… Oh, ever closer. Sunday, July 20, 2003
The feelings rise and swell. I can hardy express. How difficult it has been. Able to draw, But there is no pencil or paper. Able to sing, But voice long lost. Able to feel, Modes of expression lost. Except for here. Somehow in this small reverie, I can express more than ever. I feel so incredibly thankful. Thankful, And perhaps not as lost as before. The bravery of one person has been able to fuel me into more productive thought. Often people don’t realize when they do something special, Or that what they do has had such an impact on another. I am thankful. Thankful for the thoughts, and encouragement from so many sides. Thankful for all the help I have received. Arigato. *Note: A special thanks for my Samurai who helped bring this blog into its new look of revival; (and with thanks to the young lady who prompted my immediate inspiration to initiate such). |
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