Hotaru no Saiden

It is a strange emptiness. Neither sad nor lacking. But… Emptiness all the same. It feels as though I have cleaned out the home my mind had once been. It is like losing home. A clean, new place with nothing familiar. And yet… I can’t remember what happened here. It’s like I can learn nothing more. Like I can no longer travel, because there is nowhere to go anymore. Just tired and bored here. Maybe purpose, my purpose is running its course. Flushing itself out of my system. And believe me, it is terrifying to feel like that. Even without a known purpose, I am still… “Useful.” Will I know when I am no longer useful? Can we avoid that fate? Can we really dodge our own deaths? Have you ever seen a husk of a person walking this earth, That touches nothing… That doesn’t affect any person, shape or form. They would have to be a purely un-physical form. Not a grain of dust could move when they walked, Not a breath of air from their lungs. Anything that touches the physical world would have some effect. But if it were…metaphysical. Incorporeal? And what if that weren’t true. Could there be solid, physical things that actually do not contribute to the continuum of life? Actual people, living, that do nothing? And what if they knew… What would become of them? Life would be a useless retainer of sorts. As much as one’s body would be… A cage that doesn’t really hold them, but has no consequence. I wonder if that is a kind of emptiness too. Sigh. A lovely hand-woven basket in my lap and I don’t know what to do with it. A blessing that it’s empty, because I still have choice in what to fill it with. Confused, and a little frustrated I don’t understand more. Or even remember anything. However, It makes a nice hat.

- Posted by Kitsu, 3:36 PM

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archives	Thursday, April 29, 2004 It is a strange emptiness. Neither sad nor lacking. But… Emptiness all the same. It feels as though I have cleaned out the home my mind had once been. It is like losing home. A clean, new place with nothing familiar. And yet… I can’t remember what happened here. It’s like I can learn nothing more. Like I can no longer travel, because there is nowhere to go anymore. Just tired and bored here. Maybe purpose, my purpose is running its course. Flushing itself out of my system. And believe me, it is terrifying to feel like that. Even without a known purpose, I am still… “Useful.” Will I know when I am no longer useful? Can we avoid that fate? Can we really dodge our own deaths? Have you ever seen a husk of a person walking this earth, That touches nothing… That doesn’t affect any person, shape or form. They would have to be a purely un-physical form. Not a grain of dust could move when they walked, Not a breath of air from their lungs. Anything that touches the physical world would have some effect. But if it were…metaphysical. Incorporeal? And what if that weren’t true. Could there be solid, physical things that actually do not contribute to the continuum of life? Actual people, living, that do nothing? And what if they knew… What would become of them? Life would be a useless retainer of sorts. As much as one’s body would be… A cage that doesn’t really hold them, but has no consequence. I wonder if that is a kind of emptiness too. Sigh. A lovely hand-woven basket in my lap and I don’t know what to do with it. A blessing that it’s empty, because I still have choice in what to fill it with. Confused, and a little frustrated I don’t understand more. Or even remember anything. However, It makes a nice hat. - Posted by Kitsu, 3:36 PM	ColonPipe Hyper Buddha Gorgissum Haiku Knock on the >>Sky Ebbles Miniatures