Hotaru no Saiden

2011-06-01T03:54:00.001-04:00

I knew when I sat in my car tonight,I knew the night I told you my nephew was born.Hell, I probably knew the night I sobbed my heart out and you didn't bat an eyelash or even bother to look at me.I knew that one day your rationality would become you.You made a hundred promises you never kept, or planned to keep I'm sure.When you cried out to me all the things you would do to keep me in your life

2011-03-07T10:20:00.001-05:00

I don't want to go.

2010-11-29T23:58:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think you deserve to be lonely.And when you become the other you, I wish I were dead.I'm so tired of expecting you to be you, or at least the good person I once knew you to be.But you're dead now.You don't exist.And now you blame me for ever expecting it to be otherwise.Its all my fault.I should have never come to you in the first place.I should never go to you ever again.Check

2010-11-10T00:49:00.002-05:00

Nothing has been the same since you died.And it never will be.

2010-08-23T04:07:00.001-04:00

It doesn't hurt me.You wanna feel how it feels?You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?You be running up that hillYou and me be running up that hillAnd if I only could,Make a deal with God,And get him to swap our places,Be running up that road,Be running up that hill,Be running up that building.If I only could, oh...You don't wanna hurt me,But see how

2010-05-12T03:00:00.002-04:00

Happy fucking birthday to me.

2010-05-09T03:27:00.003-04:00

My muscles have become cement.So constricted and starved, they cry.The pain shows itself for only a moment before it is swallowed down by waves of numbness, and then I feel nothing.Nothing but unrelenting rocks below soft skin.Years of inability to control my muscles, now only makes me a slave to them.The do as they wish.There are many things out of my control, but those within my power never

2009-12-09T13:01:00.002-05:00

Each day as monotonous as the lastAnd the last beforeAnd the last before…..and before…How can I turn back time?How long will I live knowing?Certainly she is as real as me, with real feelings.For you..In knowing I began to hope and pray you would not wander away, lost in confusion.I can pretend it no longer hurts, That I am long since over all that was discovered.Though I feel invaded and shaken.I

2009-08-23T05:01:00.002-04:00

Its a strange feeling waking up alive,Shocked to know your consciousness remains.The morning was so cold, and the smell and heat from the heater made me just as sick as...The world felt so foreign.The way down from the top bunk seemed forever and I remembered the cold on my feet as I stumbled to the bathroom.The snow fell as silent as we were about what had just happened.I don't even remember the

2009-03-24T03:46:00.003-04:00

When it rained it pouredBack so long ago,There came a sweltering 4th of JulyThe clouds trapping in the dying heat.I couldn’t explain my mood then.I had begun to feel confused and disengaged about any of my feelings even at that moment.Sitting by the warm pool.The water tepid and therapeutic, like bathwater.My feet dipped in and just waiting to leave.We were were visiting strangers, friends of

2008-11-09T00:31:00.003-05:00

A sudden creeping vision from my past edges along the back of my mind.How cold that winter had been.How miserable, covered in fog and wet.Chilling to the bone.A frozen wind eager to numb the skin off all who dared to embrace the world.I was in the kitchen.A spacious, yet dirty and morbid place.I felt my body slowly melt, as the warm indoor air covered me.Out the window I watched the trees ache

2008-07-16T01:47:00.001-04:00

Once again I am left being unable to articulate my feelings. To even stand up for myself. To say “hey that’s great, you’re going to make your life better- but what about me”. And I feel somehow used. Taken for granted myself, in that I will follow around like a little pup. What else of a choice do I even have? I would be unable to move on. So I have to stay and

2008-05-24T05:28:00.001-04:00

This place has long since been forgotten.If there was any heartbeat of hope in those that ever came to this place,It has come to rest.I had visions of vivid and alluring photos postering these empty hallways.I wanted to breathe a spark of life and interest into my haven...But as time would have her way,I had not the need to come to this place for quite some time.A great deal has changed with my

2007-06-05T00:47:00.001-04:00

Will post more when the headache subsides and I get more rest and time.Meanwhile, here is Inari.The newest member of the tribe.

2007-01-08T21:24:00.000-05:00

Pearls and swine bereft of meLong and weary my road has beenI was lost in the citiesAlone in the hillsNo sorrow or pity for leaving I feelI am not your rolling wheelsI am the highway

2007-01-02T01:09:00.000-05:00

Trust I seek and I find in youEvery day for us, something newOpen mind for a different view...and nothing else matters

2006-12-21T22:38:00.000-05:00

Dont bother trying to find her,she's not there.

2006-12-18T00:37:00.000-05:00

We will ride with fire burning hot towards the night sky In the land of long ago forever in our souls Fly on wings of shining steel are burning so bright In ancient lands of warriors we're riding on again Burning firesburning liveson the long distant roads Through the lost mountains endlessso far away from home Warrior soldiers foreverwe fought long ago We're all lost in the darkness so far away

2006-10-27T03:26:00.000-04:00

hot potato.

2006-10-13T04:48:00.000-04:00

Even now I can’t tell if I was lying when I told her that I didn’t like to sleep. Sometimes it’s all I want to do, but I’ve never given in. I said that I have more interesting things to do when I’m awake than while I sleep. That much is true, but that’s not why I can’t sleep.